Here's Why
- It's oblong, heavy, oddly shaped, and difficult to pack or carry.
- The meat and guts of a watermelon is about as satisfying as biting into a head of iceberg lettuce. It's sweet, I get it. But I'm not interested in eating sugar air. I need more to keep hunger at bay.
- Any iceberg lettuce fans out there? The only way iceberg lettuce has any redeeming qualities is if it's smothered in ranch, blue cheese, and bacon. Why do Japanese restaurants even offer salad? It's always iceberg lettuce, a cherry tomato, some carrot shavings, and a peanut sauce that isn't bad but is so unique you spend the time eating it wondering what the real food item is that it went with.
- It requires serious cutlery and a painter's drop cloth to prepare.
- What do you do with the seeds? I don't eat my fish or chicken with bones in it if I can avoid it. I'm not interested in navigating the seeds with something that is supposed to be a sweet and easy treat.
- Watermelons grow selfishly and need a lot of room. According to the Clemson Cooperative Extension, Home and Garden Information Center, Watermelons require "a lot of room" and should be planted in "rows 6 to 8 feet apart" ("Watermelons," 2017).
- You're basically eating a bunch of water and sugar. According to the Clemson Cooperative Extension, Home and Garden Information Center, "Watermelons need a lot of water. In fact, water comprises 92 percent of the watermelon fruit" (Watermelons," 2017).
Reference
Watermelons. (2017, February 26). Retrieved from https://hgic.clemson.edu/factsheet/watermelons/
Try a kiwi, here's why
- It's portable, easy to carry, and fits so perfectly in your hand you're naturally tempted to throw it.
- It's perfectly fuzzy, not a smooth blobfish bowling ball of a watermelon that must be carried with two hands like you're moving firewood.
- Cut a kiwi in half and tell me the inside doesn't look majestic. It's just as vivid and interesting as the inside of a watermelon.